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Baby: Women -- help us out a bit here :) Give it up for a new mom!
Mon, 26 Mar 2007

Today I guess was another of the 'fussy days' where the baby is kranky all day and just wants to be held. I get home from work and mommy is a little frazzled .. barely had time to have a cereal in the morning and no time for lunch or even to get a drink for herself; she got a few IM's in to me so we could communicate a little, but in general.. a tiring day of carrying the baby around while shushing. For those who've never done it -- its harder than you think, and tiring to caring a squirming twelve-pounder around :)

She was much fussier last Friday, but pretty good on the weekend when we were visiting. I think it tires the baby out to have lots of folks around so she ends up being quiet .. but the last few days where it was just my wife and her for the night and day, the baby was a fussy-bussy. Its hard on the wife, for sure.

After being sleep deprived and dealing with this all day, today my wife was a little on the upset side; she worries she's not doing her part since I have to take over when I get home from work "after a long day of work" .. "shouldn't I be able to do it all?". She's still worried about running up to shower while alone in the house (due to risk of fainting, however low). She worries about the baby fealing abandoned if she flops out to do email for a few mins .. so she ends up carrying the baby until just being exhausted.

I tell her .. she's not superwoman; she can't do _it all_ though she wants to. The baby has fussy days or weeks, and it _is_ hard. Just because other women don't show that its hard, it merely means they're not revealing that difficulty publicly, just as my wife wouldn't. I tell her that I have the easy part since I'm just going back to work.. stuff I've been doing awhile and I enjoy, and that doesn't involve squirming screamy babies. That my job is easy, and her job, being the mommy.. is hard. The hardest. Rewarding, but it _is_ tough. Maybe just for a couple months, or who knows.. but not to beat herself up. I say that a lot -- it is tough, so don't beat yourself up. You shouldn't be ashamed for wanting to have a few minutes to yourself.. you're human, and you need to unwind for 5 mins if you can get it.

She worries that she doesn't feal enough love and attachment to the child yet. Its not that my wife is depressed.. she seems fine and doesn't sound like post-partum or the like; she's just tired the heck out and as we all know.. a little sleep dep seriously messes with your calm. So she doubts herself.

My wife is amazing. She's doing an awesome job, and the baby loves her and responds to her singing until she's raw in the throat from it :) She's a great wife, my best friend, and a great mom. But she's tired.

Women out there, if you're reading .. please reply on Livejournal and let my wife know she's not alone.. that it is hard, and that she's normal. She's just like veryone else. She's not failing, the baby won't grow up hating her, none of that. Give it up for a new mom .. its a tough job, but it has to be done :)

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