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Baby: Its a girl! - Or, How I learned what truly being sleep deprived is like
Sun, 11 Mar 2007

There is so much I can and hope to say about the baby and birthing process. Men - wear comfy shoes that you think you can stand for 35 hours in, and women - you are all each and every one truly amazing. If I ever get free time again I will write about the birth, the in-hospital after-birth, the coming home, and life in chaos, but time is so utterly precious right now I'll be brief. All of these events are incredible and soul altering, but of all things, I feel I must whine a bit this time. Consider this the 5th or so posting about the birth, where the others will come sometime :)

o My wife is amazing; I could never have done what she has done with anywhere near as much energy and strength .. especially after the complications and such she's been through

o Our baby is beautiful beyond belief, but boy can she wail :)

o You know, when having a baby, life will be forever different, that sleep will be interupted and priorities will change; but you cannot understand the scope of life shock until it happens.. omg! It makes you wonder, at this early point, how anyone survives at all. I know it will get better but right now, it just seems like a scary future :)

There is so much to say about the baby and life and all, but right now I'm feeling super-stresses; worrying about my wife and the baby and caring for them at the expense of myself has shaken me .. walking for 5 hours at night time to get the baby to sleep through her cramps (she's not pooping enough) has totally messed me up. I want to spend more time with my wife (I so regret everything I did that was not with my wife, before the birth), and have a good nights sleep again, and I wonder when (if ever) we'll be able to flop down and watch TV or I'll have a moment to read .. or play a game or any such frivilous thing. Right now we're still in that panic-period where the baby is either asleep or screaming (usually the latter :), so we spend all our time being amazed by tiny toes, or trying to just get past the current tirade to the next time when we can rest.

Luckily my mother-in-law popped by a few times so I coudl crash for a couple hours during the day, but its still left me weird; we've decided 'bed time' is now 8pm and hoping to last 12 hours, so that somewhere in that 8-to-8 period we might get 5 hours or more sleep. Catching a cat-nap for an hour or two in the day is a rare luxury, but then just makes for problems later when we try to really hit the bed.. <-- overwhelmed

Just .. wow. My wife lacks energy from loss of blood et al, but she can handle it all .. simply amazing. I find myself a bundle of nerves, rushing store to store to buy what we need, worrying about getting to a doctor to help with the babies constipation (counting the hours until Tuesday for that appointment), and dealing with sleeping in scraps during the day while zombing during the night.

Heres to hoping that sometime in the next couple weeks it'll get better.. I'm not sure I can handle it all as it is, though I know that I will somehow or another :)

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