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Predictions: 2006 will feature the first Internet Layoff Raffle
Tue, 24 Jan 2006

(Hopefully tongue in cheek here ;) Imagine a web site featuring 'baseball card' statistic sheets on each employee potentially to be laid off; "theres Mark, who completed 5 significant projects in 2005 for a net corporate saving of $1.5m over $150k total expenses; Jimmy is a go-getter Human Resource Manager but had a bad quarter, an average of only 13 RBI (Rookies Brought In) - ladies, he's available!" The Internet beer guzzlers would love to get revenge on corporate America, and also serve as a highly impartial audience. Need to layoff a thousand white-collar executives in the auto industry? Let www.InternetLayOffs.com take care of it for you -- they'll even do it for free with a television contract.

In other news, heres my new alternative to the "-- in bed" gag. When a name is mentioned, pipe up with:

If only it was BLANK as a giant metal robot.

Especially entertaining with political figures, and be sure to throw in media moguls. Be assured instant popularity at parties - "If only it was Walter Koenig as a giant metal robot."

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