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Obits: Too soon you find yourself growing up again..
Tue, 24 Oct 2006

I know I know, three-quarters of the folks visiting this blog (thus suggesting I have 4 or more readers, woowoo ;) are looking for geekery I bet, and theres been too much personal stuff lately; it comes in waves, so don't worry I'll geekout again soon. I do consider making half the blog posts private, just for myself, and leaving only the impersonal stuff out here.. but like so many millions of people (mostly twelve?) here it is, laid bare, fool that I am.

People are always amazed when I mention I still have three grandparents left (and the one only passed a few years back.) I suspect this will be a bad year for all of them however. Thats okay, they have lived long lives and I don't have too many regrets, and I guess it is the way of things -- with a little one on the way its the universes way of keeping balance.

What is awful about the current situation is my one grandmother is almost certainly going to pass on this week.. today, tomorrow, the next day. Now, its nice her children are there with her, but I can barely stand the status reports they pass along -- each morning being awoken by the dreaded phone - you reach for it assuming the worst -- but its just another status update and instructions where to find maternity wear. I'm just not the sort to handle that sort of mental assault daily, in the early AM. Daaaaaamn. Guess I'm a wuss. Shes a tough old gal, told she wouldn't make it another year many years back, but the cancer has got her number this time for sure.

She's a good woman; Old folks always seem like superheroes - cut from another cloth. Decent, strong, always there for you. I always assumed its just because you were tiny and they were old and wise, but it still bends your world a little when they go. Yeah yeah I know, I'm the emotional sort. Guys can be tough and still have a few emotions. I blame my wife for finding them :P

So what do you say to her? Anything? Last time I called, the other day, she wasn't able to speak so I had a message relayed to me. She's pretty close, so we're on good terms. She knows I care. But with mere hours or days to go I have an opportunity to say or pass along something .. but for the life of me I have no idea what I should say. So far I guess I'm just .. taking status updates, since I know my mum needs to get them off her chest.. I just don't have much input back.

On the phone over the years, my grandmother always said "Give my love to your wife." at the end of each call. This time, the message relayed was subtely different, and with her being a very intelligent woman despite the morphene haze I expect she meant it as her last words to me: "Take care of your wife."

Maybe I read too much into it, but that one phrase breaks me up.

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